Sunday, August 24, 2008

Scotty Doesn't Know

I am in my mid 20's and maybe I should have matured beyond my enjoyment of risqué music, but I just cannot help but be amused by lewd and unsophisticated lyrics about sex and debauchery.

This week, while internet surfing to the myspace page of the local sports bar with my friend visiting from Chicago looking on, a new melody with these childish words hit our ears: "Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday!" My friend and I were both thoroughly amused and listened to the song in its entirety and then replayed the lyrics about Fiona pseudo-cuckolding, without the nuptial relationship, poor Scotty.

My friend and I, upon hearing the song, immediately thought back to 2003 when I had first discovered the music video for Custom's song, Hey Mister, a minor pop rock sensation about the band leader defiling some poor bastards daughter while he "eats her like ice cream, maybe dip[s] her in chocolate." I had unwittingly downloaded the music video from a p2p client while trying to build up a computer collection of music videos. As I watched the scenes of the girl's body being scribbled on with marker, drawing the lyrics in the sand with a stick, pulling slow motion rewind doughnuts in a Ferrari, and seeing the white bikini bottoms with "Hey Mister !" written on with marker, I could not help but wonder who made this piece of crap video.



I immediately sent the video to my friend and simply asked, "Is this the official Custom video or was this piece of crap made by some film students just screwing around." We both set to the task of researching the custom video on the internet and decided that it was the official video after visiting Custom's website to find that bikini bottom panties with "Hey Mister !" written on them were actually for sale from the website. Further confirmation came when we discovered a college journalist's school newspaper review of the video condemning it for being such a considerable piece of shit. The song was obscene, the video was horrible, and my friend and I both totally dug it.

So naturally, after hearing Scotty Doesn't Know by Lustra, we both wanted to know if the song had a craptacular video to accompany it. We were far from disappointed. A visit to youtube yielded a scene from the movie Eurotrip for which the song had in fact been created. For some completely inexplicable reason, Matt Damon is the star of the scene as he appears with a shaved head, more piercings than a classroom at Naropa, and a large neck tattoo. Damon is the lead singer of the band, and also happens to be the one who has been banging Fiona for quite some time as he says "happy anniversary baby" when Fiona joins him on stage to sing Scotty Doesn't Know. Damon really gets into it with plenty of wild gestures and trills into the microphone, but it is obvious from the 3 minute 32 second video that Eurotrip is tremendous piece of garbage; which we of course immediately confirmed by watching Eurotrip in its entirety right then and there.



Despite the five year gap between discovering these two master pieces of music and film, I clearly have maintained my appetite for the vulgar. I could try to always act like the sophisticated grown up professional that I play on work days, but enjoying simple lyrics about promiscuity with a friend is just for fun and hopefully still somewhat age appropriate.

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